Dear Anxiety, we need to chat

What do you have against me? I’ve tried loving you and supporting you but you throw it back at me. What do you want? A slap in the face?

My whole day was consumed by your greedy nature. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t enjoy food. I couldn’t do anything because the burden of you is too extreme for me to ignore. What are you trying to say to me? I can’t understand it. If you’re worried, just tell me. Don’t torture me for days making me list all the things in my life that I cannot control. Let me have peace.

I need some time away from you. I feel our relationship is becoming too toxic for me to bear. I’ve tried to persevere – I ate better, I drank water, I reassured you. I am always there for you and yet still you are ungrateful. What do you gain from my worry? From my torment?

I go over my thoughts repeatedly, like a broken clock stuck at 3.37AM.

My sanity is begging for help in the corner you pushed it in. My excitement has been consumed by your greed. My sadness waits in the sidelines, egging you on.  Shall I smoke? Go out and get pissed? If you want me to have some control then you need to allow me some time to figure it out. I need to be healthy. Where is your patience? Uncertainty needn’t be our enemy, but our liberation.

Anxiety, I think we need to break up.


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